Thoughts on Grace

So I’ve just returned from my nightly midnight cycle ride home, during which I was reflecting on the talk we had at CU tonight.  Mainly I was thinking about my sin, all the stuff I do against my Father God, while claiming to love Him, live for Him and give up my life for Him.  The thing I noticed about the way I was thinking about all this rebellion inside me was how self-focussed I was being.  I was upset by all the sin in my life because of how it affected me, how it made me feel, the fact it distanced God from me, the guilt I had because of it, the list goes on.  But surely God hasn’t redeemed us simply to feel better about ourselves, He hasn’t sent His Son to pay the penalty for all our sin just so that we may feel happier or more spiritual for a while.  He set us free to live for Him, to worship Him, to be holy, set apart, for Him.

It’s so unhelpful, not to mention completely arrogant, to try and judge how much we’re forgiven, or how righteous we are, by the measure of how close we feel that we are to God, or how little we have sinned in the past few hours.  Just because I read my Bible this morning and mumbled a few words to God doesn’t mean He loves me any more than if I hadn’t.  It doesn’t mean that I can now approach Him with any more confidence than I could have done before I went to that prayer meeting last night.  Can you see how easily this kind of thinking can creep in?!?  It’s SO subtle!!  Yet scarily false, an utter lie at it’s very essence.

I want to suggest that we all stop being concerned about sinning because of what the consequences may be for us, the guilt of knowing what we’ve done, the repairing we’d have to do etc.  but I hope we see that ultimately it’s not about us.  It’s about Him.  We should be striving to cut out the sin in our lives because of our love for Him.  We should be pursuing sanctification and holiness, not so that we may sleep better at night, but because He demands it of us.  Once we see why and just how much our sin offends God because of how Holy He is; when we recognise that God grieves over our sin; we can then start to live holy lives with a much better purpose: to truly honour and please our Maker.  This is the motivation to seek holiness that we need, and it transcends all the motivation we’ve previously gotten from our fickle feelings and routines!!

(I feel I should add that I may have gotten some of these ideas from books I read some time last year.  Possibly ‘The Pursuit of Holiness’ by Jerry Bridges or maybe ‘The Normal Christian Life’ by Watchman Nee.)

As always, please comment on this post if you don’t agree with it, if it has helped you, if you’ve got more insight to add to it etc. – it’s good to talk!

Facebook Fast – Update 2

So the past few days I’ve been completely without laptop, googlemail and blog, nevermind Facebook!! And who’d have thought it… I survived…  To be fair to Facebook, it is extremely useful for having EVERYONE you know within contact at the push of a button.  Since everyone around is so Facebook-ised I’ve recieved many messages that I’m glad I read on the Sunday!  People use it for important things – not wise during lent!  So for all those who think ‘Lent minus Sundays’ is a cop-out, it’s needed!!!

I’m still living at university as I figure I should make up for a term of minimal studying, seeing as next term brings exams!  So I’m in my house all alone   But thankfully there are plenty of people around these parts still So we’ve been eating at each others houses (a group of around 10 of us) each night, which has been a really nice experience, spending time with real people, making real conversation.  And I’ve even been doing quite a lot of washing up.  I’m shocked at how domesticated I’m becoming.

I’ll end with a question all have to comment on if you’ve read this far:

Do you type one or two spaces after your full-stops on a word-processor?!?

Injury Update

Yesterday we had our Semi-Final in the Wednesday league.  OK, so it was the semi-final for the worst teams in the league, but still, a Semi-Final none-the-less.  I went along to watch and ’show my support’ and witnessed a 4-2 victory, putting us into the Final in April (which I’ll hopefully be recovered for!!!).

I really shouldn’t have gone to watch the match.  I discovered how the horrifying thing about being injured is not, as it may seem, the pain from the injury, or having to limp etc., but the fact that you physically can’t play like you used to.  The simple fact I couldn’t just run onto the pitch and play was terrifying, it’s one of the worst feelings in sport.  I guess without being in that situation you can’t know what it’s like, but trust me, it majorly sucks!

Anyway, I forgot about the football in the afternoon as the day was pretty busy for me.  In the evening we had our last meeting as an 08-09 committee, emotional times… If any of you guys are reading this (which I highly doubt), I had an amazing year with all of you, and there’s not one of you I’m not gonna miss an awful lot!!  Thanks for a brilliant year, through hard times and good.

And for all you fellow 09-10 committee people, don’t waste a moment! It flies by so fast!!

Music in Quiet Times

Of course we all know worship isn’t just about the use of music, and music should never ever ever become the focus of our worship. But how can we use it in our quiet times to really focus on God?

For me, some of my most amazing quiet times have been just me, my piano/guitar and God. It should go without saying that it is essential to PRAY or look at a passage before responding in song. Our minds should be focussed completely on wanting to know God more, how amazing He is, how much grace He’s poured out, and not on us trying to feel better. It’s this whole perspective change we need to come to terms with.

Jesus didn’t die so we could feel better about turning our backs on God, but so we could have a relationship with God again. Worship Him. Please Him. Live for Him. My point is that we should make sure we are truly meaning what we are praying or singing. Not just doing it as some kind of formula to ‘feel’ close to God.

I also find that songs for worship can sometimes be used to say things I can’t quite put words to myself. Even songs I’ve sung hundreds of times before in church can suddenly bring so much more meaning and sincerity when there’s just me and God.

All in all, don’t shy away from using music in your quiet times. Just make sure you’re using it for the right reasons and not part of a ‘magic’ formula!

Facebook Fast – Update 1

OK so yesterday something painful happened.  Playing football I tried to change direction too quickly, making my right knee buckle under the pressure and bend the wrong way.  After literally hours of waiting around and travelling to and from both a health centre and a hospital, the conclusive advice was for me to rest it and come back if it gets worse, oh, and “we know it’s not broken”.  To be brutally honest with you, if I’d have put my mind to it I could probably have come up with that exact same advice myself, but I guess I wouldn’t get paid to give it…

Anyway I’m not meant to be ranting about the state of the NHS, I figured since I’ll be just lazying here in bed all day, I might as well write another blog! (let’s face it… it’s either that or watch ‘Friends’ all day…)

I’m a day into giving up Facebook (don’t worry I’ll still check it on Sundays in case I have anything pressing to attend to!!) and I must say, it seems a lot longer than that.  I don’t so much miss getting notifications or messages for myself, but it’s more having a page I can visit that changes SO many times during the day.  There’s only so often I can see my ‘Blog Stats’ rise by a few views, which if I’m honest gets boring sooner than I thought.  So overall, I’ve not been using this period of having more time wisely.  Which brings me to something I read the other day:

“Here’s an equation: -++=x.

Translation: subtraction plus addition equals multiplication.”

As an under-graduate Mathematician, the sight of this made me cringe uncontrollably.  Although re-reading it, and reading it in context, reveals an incredibly true insight.  The full blog can be found here.

When giving something up, it’s almost useless without adding something beneficial in it’s place.  I’ve been incredibly bad at this over the past 36 hours, so I aim to correct this for the remainder of the duration of Lent.  I aim to spend at least an hour and a half reading books on my current reading list (“THE BIBLE!”, “Sex isn’t the problem (lust is)”, “The Single Issue” and “Pierced for our transgressions”).  Hopefully by doing this, my time without Facebook will be more meaningful and productive than simply not knowing who’s birthday it is today, or who’s attending that party next week.  Maybe I should also try and study more as well… we’ll see what happens…   But I’m thinking two weeks without football or even cycling into Uni will give me again more time to add these things to my routine.

NLT (kind of…)

I guess first of all, I best say thank you to a friend of mine, Denise, whom I don’t treat with the kind of respect I should… Denise’s blog linked to mine, giving me way more views, so I guess I’m repaying the gesture… See http://paper-angels.blogspot.com/ to find out what I’m talking about!

So these past few days I’ve been thinking a lot about concepts of grace, due primarily to NLT over the weekend.  I used to read quite a lot of books on grace (mainly ‘The Normal Christian Life’ by “Watchman Nee” – if you’ve yet to read it, DO IT!! No, seriously.  Get onto amazon now….) so I guess in a way I thought I ‘had that one covered’.  But bringing my mind to focus once again on these truths was incredibly refreshing!  I’d lost my awe of God, lost all perspective on who He is, what He’s done and why He’s done it.

I don’t want this to be a long post, so I’ll get to the main point that impacted me, which is this:

When we look at ourselves, there is nothing, NOTHING, that we find that can give us any more right to be called God’s son/daughter.

Essentially this means that we can’t ever find a single bargaining chip between us and God.  There is NO ground to stand on with regards to what we do.  We’re never gonna go up to God and say “Look God!  I’ve had a quiet time for three straight days now!!” and expect Him to respond with anything other than “Wow… my Son stepped down into darkness and was tempted in every single way, yet still remained completely sinless, so that you might stand redeemed before me… Sorry, what were you saying again….?”.

We need to stop thinking that if we do something for God, He’ll have to owe us anything.  HE WON’T!  If He did, it would be on a par to saying His grace wasn’t enough for us, that we could actually do something to be more deserving of His grace.  That’s nonsensical.  Through realising we can never EARN in ourselves any more of God’s grace, we come to two conclusions, and hopefully action points we can apply in order to change our attitudes.

Firstly, we should stop trying to earn our salvation, which means stop feeling good about doing ‘well‘.  Even if you went without sinning for, say, 24 hours, you think this would be ‘well’ enough?!?

Secondly, this fact shouldn’t make us give up on the pursuit of holiness, but spur us on!!  We can now see how truly AMAZING the gift of God’s grace is!  Causing us to fall down in awe of Him, desperate to please Him in every way.

I’ve SO much more to say on this subject, but I guess this was mainly what was on my mind today.  Check back later for more on it OR subscribe!

Wastebook

So I’ve just got back from the Midlands CU Leaders Training Weekend (or ‘CULT Weekend’…) held in Quinta, Shropshire.  The teaching there was spot on, and just what I needed to hear.  Maurice McCracken simply reminded everyone of the eternal truths of grace; which are so powerful and should be so influential in all parts of our lives and attitudes.  I could write an extremely long blog on what was taught there alone, but this is about something more of you will be interested in…. Facebook.

On the coach journey home I got to thinking about meeting new people, forming new relationships etc. and immediately my mind goes to how many ‘Facebook Friend’ adds we’ll get over the next week.  Maybe it’s just me, but I was suddenly aware of how reliant we are on this tool not just to maintain some level of friendship, but to actually grow and mature certain friendships, and sometimes even meet people there!!  None of this stuff is intrinsically harmful but it made me realise how little we now talk to each other in order to discover things about our personalities or experiences.  It’s SO easy just to look under ‘About me’ or the ‘Favourite Films’, ‘Favourite Music’ sections rather than get into a real conversation with someone you meet.  I’m going to risk saying that friendships are a lot more superficial because of this.

The way we used to build relationship with each other was to talk, ask questions, get to know each other gradually, not all at once, know each others likes/dislikes not from a section on Facebook, but from personal experience!  I’ve found I really miss doing these things, relating to people face-to-face instead of keyboard-to-keyboard.  So I’ve made a decision.  Instead of ranting about it on an unread blog hoping someone somewhere would read it and agree with me, I’m going to be active and change something.  From now on I’ll try and stay away from checking up on people via FB (commonly known as Facebook Stalking or ‘Falking’) and avoid using it to have general chit chat with friends I could simply just invite round for coffee or even go walk with for half an hour (I used to LOVE walking and talking!!).  Through this, my hope is to get to know my friends on a deeper level, and for them to have the same with me, so that we actually KNOW each other, and say goodbye to the superficial relationships we too often label as ‘friendships’.

Saying all of this, I’m not going to delete my account completely or anything near as drastic as that.  Facebook is an amazing tool for keeping in touch with friends out of reach, or friends I only see annually, or even family members!  So I’ll check the Book weekly to not appear rude or unsociable

On a concluding note, I don’t want anyone to think I’m trying to persuade them to do the same.  I know everyone approaches things like this differently, so Facebook CAN INDEED be used healthily   But I know, for me at this moment, it’s causing more of a distraction from relationship than it is helping it, and not even just my earthly relationships; which is worrying to say the least!

So if you need to contact me use dkdanknowles@googlemail.com OR text me OR risk making real contact with me and speaking to me!!!

Feeling’s Stable?!?

Hey guys!!
Hope everything is good with you all and you made the most of the ‘wonderful’ snow!

Here at Warwick we’ve just had our ‘Mission Week’ which is basically a focussed week of events aimed to appeal to our friends who aren’t christians.  So there were Science talks, debates, Gospel talks, acoustic nights, discussion cafes and, of course, a LOT of prayer.  During the week I personally felt a lot closer to God, I LOVED 8am prayer, and ask the guys, I am NOT a morning person!!!  But after this seriously intense week, it was just too easy to fall back into old habits.

Which made me realise; we need to be pro-active in our faith.  Not just idly wandering along wishing we ‘felt’ closer to God; but serving Him no matter what mood we’re in, independant of whether we engaged in worship the other day, or whether we think Gods answered that one important prayer.  As humans, we have had engrained into us the habit of judging EVERYTHING by how we feel.  We need to realise with Jesus it’s not like that.  We’re forgiven, we’ve been given grace, we’re loved, we’re cared for, we know and have relationship with THE ONE TRUE GOD.  These things NEVER change.  Our feelings do, WAY more frequently than we realise.  So let’s hold to the TRUTH.  That we are FREE, forgiven and have God on our side.  These things are UNCHANGING.

Sorry about the impromtu rant, but this is important stuff to get our heads around.  I’ll leave you with a verse that carries on challenging me each time I read it:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
- 1 Corinthians 10:31

That’s right, ‘whatever you do’!!  I hope you feel as challenged as I am!